“ANIMAL CRACKER RIGHTS”

BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

I bought a box of Animal Crackers, just so I could set them free. Once I gave some money to PETA, but those people just scare the hell out of me; there all vegan this and vegan that, but the ones I met where so damn fat.
I have all the Animal Crackers set up on the coffee table now and have been handing out names as I see fit such as, Emma the Elephant, Mo the Monkey, Zelda the Zebra, Jean Reno the Rhino, Gerry the Giraffe and Barnum the Bear. Barnum is the Ring Leader; Head Honcho, Top Notch, and The Bastard.
I dipped a few of the Animal Crackers in my coffee and ate them, freedom comes with a price, I wont eat Barnum the Bear I want to test his shelf life, I’m guessing a 100 years.
I do feel poorly bighting the heads off of the animals it seems to gory, so I pop them in my mouth all at once and give them a good solid crunch. If there’s no mess then there’s no guilt, only thing to clean up sometimes is a little spilt milk.
If the world was filled with more pacifists then perhaps vanilla wafers would see them through, but the world is often cruel, so if your not born cute you may just be dinner for two, it does not make it right but it is on the menu tonight.