PIZZA

“A Slice of Pizza & Sheb’s Head”

By Sheb Schebella

 I have dozens of clever spots for things such as keys, wallets, eye glasses, and my passport. One would think with all of these clever spots Laing around the house I would be able to refrain from losing my will at times, or at least keep my heart in a safer place so it would not come up shattered from time to time. However it does happen to the best of us, even the very surface able presented happy ones. Of course I have not lost my will in a great many years, but I remember when the bottle was my best friend and worst enemy. Lately my life has been going well and has been anything shy of hum drum. I never have figured out how to wear my heart out on my sleeve without getting it bruised or broken from time to time. I truly do not believe that there is a 100% sure fire way of protecting one self of such things if they plan to be among the land of the living. I do suppose however life would be a bit tawdry and boring if it was packed with to many guaranties. To me it would be like winning a game you have cheated at, unless of course the thrill was not winning but the idea of not getting caught, and then I can understand the motivation and thrill there. A little espionage always keeps the story attractive, but certainly not with matters of the heart, at least not for me. I have found in my meandering experiences in late that a good way to keep your heart from breaking or staying broke is to give it away, and if your lucky enough perhaps whoever receives it will mend it back to some functional state of happiness. However there has also has been times when I got my heart sent back to me if not literally flung at me in a box marked return to sender , with the “caution this side up” and “fragile” sticker turned upside down, if not completely missing. No matter how clever I think I am or how grey and wise I feel I do believe one thing very much and that is that Love is something you have to risk giving away to be able to keep. I think most people find this to be true as well, whether they play the game or not. When I look at the risk truly involved and then way the options of not playing they seem simple enough to understand. I can wake up lonely everyday until I am dead, or I can create a false identity on 360, My Space, or whatever place one chooses. I have seen people do this for reasons I find to be connected to some sort of mental illness at best, so I will refrain from stereotyping them too profusely. I do wonder however if they keep a loaded gun in their desk drawer at times. What happens if one day you do come out of your shell and you meat someone you have spent countless hours lying to or for a lighter definition pretending to? I guess you’re just fucked, unless of course the thrill was just seeing how far you could get in a relationship based on bullshit, I will let the reader define “Bullshit” for themselves. I know I have deleted people off my 360 page, had them placed on ignore, have accepted their invites back under another character. Here is the thing, they get a rush out of thinking I don’t know; personally I just don’t give a fuck as long as they behave. I have over 200 people on my page, I will accept just about anyone, I try not to judge them, how can I really at times there just cartoons. I have had more gratifying experiences though then bad ones, but the bad ones do seem to stick around longer then I should let them. The thing that amuses me is on 360 and other such sites is the people at times I read about, many are like dogs chasing a car and should they actually ever catch one by persistence of happenstance they would not have a fucking clue how to get to the next level because they have bullshitted themselves so deeply in a hole there’s no fucking way of digging out of it and still appearing clean to the secondary party, however it seems that it is at times only the non-interested third party that seems to notice this before it actually happens, oh-fucking-well.

 What does twist my dick though are people that steal other peoples life experiences and pan them off as their own original thoughts. There is also the person who is so sick and bent fucking twisted that they have the need to clone another’s site. I have had my site cloned and most of my photos bootlegged but I don’t give shit, but I do mind when people steal my words. My words are precious to me; I use them sparingly, and mean every word I write down. When I use words like Love, Friendship, Hate, Cocksucker, and not the good cock sucker but the bad cocksucker I mean them. Words are powerful, just as powerful as a well thrown left handed haymaker. People don’t know it, but in Europe you can get your ass in big trouble portraying to be someone else, meaning cloning another person’s identity. I myself don’t care much about lawyers, courts, appeals, or money so I handle things my way. I do however know that when you put yourself out there on the net, it is a free for all and so that is why I do not get too bent about it. I just feel sorry for the pathetic little warts on the ass of society. On a brighter note though nothing in life is worth trading my smile for  because I have been wise enough to let someone else take care of my heart whom I trust with my life and let me tell you even though there are no guaranties, my days are mush more enjoyable knowing someone loves me and is taking care of the best part of me the best they can. So you see it really does not matter who wants to pretend to be me, because they will never have my heart I gave it away and she stuck it in a very clever spot.