Friday, December 31, 2010

Beyond Heaven


“BEYOND HEAVEN”
By Sheb Schebella

Somewhere past the green fields, up and around the bend
In to the mountains and then
Across the sea far past safe anchorage
Beyond even the imagination of the heavens
I find my love for the
Nestled in a guild edged invitation fashioned like a hug
I find my presence of serenity wash over me like topic rain
The quiet parting of are lips
The warmth of are hidden breath
The casting of are shadows on the wall
Disguised as one by flickering candle light
The soft sound of rain as it bounces on the timber roof
Is replaced by the softness of your eye lashes
Brushing against my cheek
Your polished nails glide across my olive skin
Coming to rest in the small of my back
It is here I then feel us as if two oceans meat.
The clashing, the swirling, the mixing, the sensation
The churning of our love set deep within each of us
The calm after the storm
The taste of salt is welcomed
The aroma of the air is sweet
Are bodies fall limp
Tangled if not pooled
Do not allow others to come and part us
Do not allow the tide to pull us in different directions
Comfort me when I am weak as I shall do for you
Live inside of me as I will live in you
Sit behind my eyes as I shall sit behind yours
We will see what the other sees
And understand what the other needs
When insecurities present themselves
And comfort each other in our moment of confusion
Let us not carelessly give away are love
To be drowned into the sea
One love
You & Me
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

VACANT FOR CRAZY

“VACANT FOR CRAZY”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

It was a cool July night sometime after "Wheel of Fortune" but before HBO soft porn movies were available to the Friday viewer. I was heading down Pratt Street with a garden spade and a bucket of fresh Dandelions I had collected earlier that day from a vacant lot in town. I was heading down to Mr. Fogerty's house in a less then stealth fashion for I had lightly been imbibing that evening to get my courage up to transplant the Dandelions in his front lawn. Mr. Fogerty has a brilliant lawn, and as highly maintained and manicured as any nationally acclaimed golf courses putting greens. The reason I was going to spoil Mr. Fogerty's quintessential lawn was for the simple fact he allows his dog to defecate on my lawn. He has an Irish Wolf-hound, which is an enormous creature. That dog stands over six feet high when on his hind legs. And when that dog defecates, the amount of feces that falls from that hideous creature is nothing shy of what an African Elephant could produce on any given day. So on this particular night I was going to get even if not ahead. While I was walking I met up with Doris Tucuman. Doris is a tall, and firm breasted women with a beautiful smile. She's always seen wearing a long outdated ball gown for no particular reason outside of the fact that's she's as crazy as a shit house rat. But I often enjoy her company over a few pints down at the Old Sod. When are paths crossed that evening she wanted to ascertain what I had planed on doing with all the Dandelions. After I informed her of my diabolical plan she giggled only like crazy people can, and then appeared a little disappointed that I was not going to make Dandelion wine. But she did decide to invite herself, and I allowed her to tag along as if I had any choice in the matter. While Doris and I walked down Pratt Street towards Mr. Fogerty's doomed front yard we came upon Margie Shinski. Margie is a short stout woman and very ill figured to my gaze. Her face I can only describe is much like a Baboons face would appear if it were drinking vinegar. Margie took up the hole sidewalk so I was forced to stop and acknowledge her presence, upon doing so Doris was quick with her lips and told everything of my best laid plans. And of course Doris invited Margie, and of course Margie excepted the invitation. Margie did however say she would never breath a word of my doings to anyone, but I took that with a grain of salt. Benjamin Franklyn said "Three can keep a secret if to are dead." and that shall always be true I'm certain of.
A short while later we ended up in front of Mr. Fogerty's home, and when we arrived all we could do was stare wide eyed at his driveway. For on the driveway marked out in chalk was the outline of a mans body, one that would accommodate Mr.Fogerty's size. Margie was the first to reply by saying something to the affect that someone has killed the old bastard. I was very upset about this at the time; not for reasons one may think. I was upset because I did not get to plant my Dandelions in his yard, and wait across the street till morning to see Mr.Fogerty’s horrified expression. But soon my feelings became more favorable as I thought how soon it would be that he would be pushing up Dandelions of his own. To say that poetic justice was served would be a tad bit harsh but, my problem was solved none the less. In short the night ended up like any other Friday night, we all went down to the Old Sod and got good and pie eyed, and of course I ended up going home with Margie.

A LONELY GIVEN TIME


“A LONELY GIVEN TIME”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

I was in Michigan this week at a cabin of mine for a few days, and I was going through an old scrap book. I found this thought I had put to paper when I was 17. It is odd to look back at myself on how and how not I have changed. There's a preacher and a poet inside every one of us; and I think sometimes it just may be hiding, but we may be able to find them given time.
I'm living in a lonely world, waiting n a lonely girl who just might love me given time. Sometimes I'm driving down a lonely road wondering where I lost my soul and hoping it just may find me given time. I was once rolling down a lazy river, she never told me that she loved me, but at least her hand was in mine. I say a lonely prayer to a lonely God every lonely night, but I guess he just doesn't have the time. Because if he did I don't think I would be feeling this way tonight, but maybe one day he will answer me given time. I suppose it's a good thing that I don't hold grudges. I hope one day I can grow to be a man of courage. I hope I can be a man that protects all things kind given time. I hope I can grow to be a man that wears is heart out on his sleeve and accept all the bruises it need be. I hope I can help children never feel that they must pass through this world like ghost, I hope I can do these things given time.
I was walking through the forest and a deer had broken across my path, then he stopped suddenly to stare at me, and then slowly walked a way. He was not afraid of me, and that gave me a great sense of warmth deep inside. It made me feel as if I was a part of the forest and not some unwelcome intruder. I do believe I was born two hundred years to late. I would have enjoyed living in a much slower time when people took the time to sit and share adventures, and tall tales. A time when stories were read from books out load while others gathered around fire light to paint private visions of their own. I would have liked to have lived in a time when loneliness could not be found. But I believe there has never been such a time.
I take a lonely walk in the lonely pouring rain, perhaps it will wash away the lonely pain given time. I suppose a lonely life is better than no life at all; for I have seen cruel death and it is a very, very lonely place of endless time. I hope one day that the world finds me given time. It is a friend I truly need more than anything. All will be well, given time.

ROMANTIC SPOTS, NOT FOR SALE

“ROMANTIC SPOTS, NOT FOR SALE”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

There comes a time when we find ourselves gazing out upon the world while standing in the midst of it all, and for one profound second we believe in the heart of hearts that we were the first to discover it. When in reality we are only one of many travelers to pass this way. The uniqueness of the adventure is found in how we arrived at such a destination, which we often refer to as the Romantic Spot. What truly defines a romantic spot?
A romantic spot could be just about any place one wishes to rest for a spell, from such a place as atop Mt. Kilimanjaro, with nothing more with you than your soul and the flag of your nation to stick into the ground to claim your moment or perhaps it could be inside an old red barn in a field somewhere in Middle America resting on a dated milk crate, with your lover perched upon your thigh. With this being said, a Romantic spot to me in truth is nothing more than a state of mind. To me the creating of romance begins with the first few minutes of a fresh adventure, in many cases seemingly new and unknown, and packed with uncertainty and welcomed anxiety. As we begin to allow our adventure to unravel and flow with it like a leaf shouldering a river it is then that our romantic perceptions begin to manifest in an exuberant array of colorful emotions. When this happens we then begin to mesh with the elements around us whether it is with people, nature, spirituality or all combined. I do not believe any one person knows exactly what the exact ingredients are to create romance within ourselves. Because we are always changing, morphing to some degree, growing, and maturing as we begin to blend and become apart of what it is we are seeking, and in this journey perhaps becoming consciously wiser. Becoming consciously aware of the wisdom we attain is an absolute necessity to be able to fulfill our journey to that Romantic Spot. We need wisdom in the recipe because if we do not have it then we are more certain than not to attract phantoms from our past as we intersect the so called crossroads in our journey. Phantoms, Ghost Phantoms I might add, will drain ones romantic energy and deplete it more quickly than jealousy, even though the two monsters often travel side by side.
Once we have attained the ability to blend all of our romantic benefactors together correctly, and I can not tell you what those are because we all are responsible for writing our own recipe book through trial and error; but once we have captured the soul essences of it all that attributes to the needs in our life at that time, I guarantee that we will stumble into that romantic moment, that Romantic Spot so easily we will almost assume it found us, but truth be said it was all in the journey that created our own personal Romantic Spots. Once we become unafraid to venture out and conquer our fears and phantoms one will find that Life provides an infinite amount of Romantic Spots.

Once Upon A Moment

“Once Upon a Moment”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

There she stood upon the earth, battered and scarred as she stared up into the stars. Not one wish was she willing to make, only grateful to still be awake to witness a comet go soaring by. She took my hand as she began to cry and spoke “It was a thousand years ago on this day I felt if I had died.” In silence I listened as I remembered Halley’s Comet coming in December of 1985, I was out at sea sailing alone; in 2061 I may if I am around see it again. She clinched my hand tighter and whispered “There it goes and now there it is gone.” I replied while letting out a soft sigh “Fleeting.” She turned toward me and kissed my cheek, she was the kindest of kind little freaks. The world is a strange place, people even more strange, yet within them there are grand little gifts that they will allow you to unwrap slowly if you are patient enough to travel the labyrinth of their mind and color within the lines. When she told me that she had died a thousand years ago on that day I had no Idea at the time what she truly was conveying to me, but she did not expect me to understand. She merely needed another human to hear her voice, a firm hand to hold, another warm soul. She soon pulled me to the ground after the comet vanished and as we sat she opened her backpack and pulled a half filled bottle of red like a rabbit from a hat. She handed it to me and with my teeth I pulled the cork and handed back to her. She sat crossed legged and took a long healthy pull from the bottle, then set it loosely between her thighs. I then lay back slowly with my hands folded behind my head and whispered “A thousand years from this day I shall be dead, but tonight I am very alive.” She did not answer she was lost, lost in the stars, lost in her wine. Nothing was perfect, well except her ass which was hidden in the grass, but for that one particular moment we shared, we where both at peace with the world, at peace in our minds. The night did not belong to either of us, it was just a small gift that was shared with us, and a memory to have forever and the day after that should there be such a time and place. I wanted to write a love poem, but then realized I did not have to, I was living it. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Living Out Loud



“LIVING OUT LOUD”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

 Under the bed tucked away in an old show box caked with dust, grime and assorted cobwebs rest a neatly tied stack of what one may have assumed to be nothing more than misappropriated dreams that have fell by the wayside or very possibly forgotten all together. Because someone was told that there dreams were inappropriate, and their life would be much better if they simply moved forward in a more secure direction of normalcy to gain happiness; or at least a structurally sound foundation to support ones height chair to be spoon fed misery from a cereal box marked “STRUGGLES”. The good news is you will be surrounded by plenty of good people that have sat in the same height chair and swallowed the same bullshit for umpteen years. These people will advise you to join a Christian organization which has been specifically designed to cope with struggling and misery for 10% of your income before taxation; and lets face it, 10% of your life time income is a pretty fair price to learn how to stomach misery. However this will not be all you will need for your survival kit but, if you join a Catholic organization you will be in good hands. I have never met a good Catholic that could not direct one towards a top notch antidepressant, the finest selection of boxed white wines and an affordable tanning salon with ergonomic beds; I was raised catholic so I know this to be true first hand through my own meandering experiences. Many people are under the delusion that they must struggle on an almost daily bases or at least as frequent as inclement weather; that way when the Sun shines they will have a greater appreciation for the Sun, unless of course you live in the ManabĂ­ Desert or Flint, Michigan. Don’t get me wrong Flint is a fine city if you’re looking to buy a used car, or to trade your car for some Crack. I have never had to be shot in the knee caps, crawl for three days back to civilization and have them surgically replaced with plastic ones to be able to appreciate the original God given set.
Dreams are useless if we do not recognize them. I don’t like to give advice but I will share what I do. I don’t focus on struggle or suffering, or even how to rid myself of it, because when I did it only attracted more. I focus on recognizing my dreams no matter how others may interpret them. I am not saying life is without struggle, I am saying I just don’t put much of my attention there. I don’t have to be born again and realize that after I die my struggles will be over. There is far too much JOY & LOVE on this planet as I live and breathe to let it pass me by. The other day I crawled under my bed and got out my little shoebox, which I may add is not dusty nor covered in grime or cobwebs. I then took of the lid of my box of accomplished dreams and filed it away as “A CREATION IN PROCESS”. Live out loud, stand up on that height chair and leap.

A Vinyans Curse

“A VINYANS CURSE”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

Its a mother fucker....the balance is easy to attain its finding a place to stand, its mother fucker...insomnia the Piru curse of the lost Vinyans how they find us so easy I shall never know.. Blasting through the cellar door to that dark, dusty, deep place in my brain; there’s no key to get you in there or to get you out. I light the torch, follow the light they say. I am the fucking light. Knee deep in after birth of born again Christians, this has got to be that place they call hell and whoever hung that no smoking sign on my cerebrum should be tortured by the sound of there own beliefs and voice. One man carries a cross, one man drives a wagon west, one man is shit out from a white elephant, and one man came from Krypton and everybody else just are. The whole foundation of just about every society is based on some bullshit allegorical leather bound comic book etched out by a group of delusionary fueled, arrogant control freaks, concerned only in creating a mass believe system to keep the cherry tree on there side of the fence. It is all very simple really when you lay it all out; God is a blueberry pancake and everything that surrounds it, trust me, not everyone likes blueberries; so load up heavy on the whip cream and just swallow it. So you can see how important it is to be able to cook for yourself. Insomnia, its mother fucker, days on days, nights on nights and a few slow kisses in between, so perhaps when you do sleep you can dream a gentle dream, but until then I will just sit up with the Vinyans playing gin rummy in the shadow of the mad sunflower, the alter ego, the never ending rummage sale of the soul. Philosophy it is allows priced cheap and usually found on the bottom shelf, but buy it if you like because it won’t come around twice, I change them out once a week whether they need it or night, life is too short to walk around in stinky socks. “So stick your believe system in and shake it all about, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, that’s what its all about.” KAH-CHING!

Like The River To The Sea

“LIKE THE RIVER TO THE SEA”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

Will you walk with me, will you stay with me a while, just to see if I can make you smile; to see if there’s anything about me that could fill your heart’s needs if you please?
Let’s go hand in hand down to the river, dream about how it finds its way into the bay and then out to the sea to all those tropical islands I once learned about in geography.
Whisper in my ear all the things you want to believe, but don’t know how, like how buttermilk comes from a cow.
Tell me of your fantasies, even if they don’t include me, but try to bullshit one up for us and make it saucy. Tell me you like my smile even though I don’t have perfect teeth, but there good for chewing beef. Run your hands through my hair and tell me that the grey looks Ok mixed in there, and I will pretend I don’t know you dye yours and how you sometimes fart when you think I’ am outdoors.
Promise me, you will never try to impress me by speaking Spanish; if I want to hear that tongue I will call my bank and push 1. Let’s learn Cajun French instead, it sounds better in bed, and it will work well enough in Paris, France should we ever make it there by chance, but there is a bistro up the street, we can try are luck with escargot before the picture show.
Let’s buy a scrap book and fill it full of photos of you and me, and bubble gum wrappers to remind us of are silly times; let’s fill it up with tickets from ballgames, matinees, and for public nudity from time to time, everyone needs a little wine.
I am not looking for Romeo & Juliet, damn shame all that poetry pissed away over poison, I would have settled for a few chapters out of the Kama Sutra and a little lotion there’s no sense in giving up over a few distraught emotions.
Don’t try to hard for me; just let it flow like the river to the sea.

I Love In The World I Live

“I LOVE IN THE WORLD I LIVE”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

I live in world where people are kind, where there’s always room for one more and the child with the dirtiest cheeks eats first. I live in a world that when I wake I feel a touch, then a kiss before I hear words; and then those words are “I love you.” I live in a world where sometimes I am ahead and other times I am behind, but I know the race is only with myself. I live in a world where people find it easier to say that they love then to you say “Fuck you.” I live in a world where a tough rugged man carries a gentle heart. I live in a world where men understand that if you can not love flowers, then you could never love a child. I live in a world where a woman makes sure that I am reminded how much I am loved. I live in a world where love is defended at any cost, where actions speak louder then words. I live in a world where lovers are never taken for granted. I live in a world where a friend is a shared treasurer. I live in a world where I am loved unconditionally by the woman whom I love. I live in a world where the only love is blind love for me there is no other kind. I live in a world where sometimes I have visitors, whom lack the gift of an eye for uncommon beauty; they seldom stay for they know their bullshit will not be bought. I live in a world where people are not reckless with another person’s heart. I live in a world where a smile never goes out of style and
Peanut Butter & Banana sandwiches are a delicacy fit for a King.
I love in the world I live in, simply because I love you.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Through A Vagabond's Eyes


“THROUGH A VAGABOND’S EYES”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLLA

There are few sacred places left for me anymore they once were everywhere, but that was before I was 5 and Santa Claus was still alive. I got my first job when I was nine as a ranch hand wrangling Bovine. It was one of the proudest moments of my life never feeling more freedom or more alive. There were wild coyotes, angry bulls and Rattles Snakes along the path that I would travel and poetry in my head that would unravel.
MY Quarter Horse was named Gipsy and she was my best friend, and after our summer together she new everything about me, but we would never meet again. That fall a Mountain Lion had crept into her stall and that then was the beginning of the end; for I had tasted loss, and smelt the unpleasantness of death.
At nine years old I was served up a cliff notes on life, on how to conquer fear, hatred and strife. However the cliff notes never discussed loss or loneliness, I would have to wing that one at a very high cost, but as the years past by and I kept dusting off my Levis as I knew I would survive.
The years stacked up and life and death flanked me on either side. The people in my life that I would meet would seem to pass in and out of my life just as quickly as strangers on the street. I could never really tell if it was them or me riding that revolving door, all I really knew is that when the sun went down it was me standing and watching that ship leave the shore and so then one day I said “No more.”
I decided that if I was to stay sane I would have to except this as part of the game. People wanted a piece of my heart; they wanted to look inside my mind. Soon I found myself to be their emotional 911, their 3am call, the guy that patched them up, patted them on the ass and handed them back the ball. I would never worry about seeing them again for they would find me after they fall, I still seem to be the kid shoveling shit out of life’s stall.
People always wanted a part of me, but they never wanted me all. I am damaged goods, my body lined with scars, my wiring is poor, sometimes I look at a door knob and forget what it is for, my eyes can only see as far as my heart, but I never felt that I have been misunderstood and I do believe most people know my intentions are good.
The only thing I have never lacked is courage even though most times I have thundered through life I have been scared, but always with the understanding nothing has to be fair, there is no reward in this life for being a good man, for me its idea enough to just be a helping hand, to remove sadness and put a smile in its place, it leaves me with a comforting notion that my life has not been a waste..
Throw a dart at a map and 9 time out of ten I have been there and ten out of ten times I have ventured on alone, I seem to lack something for the ones I fall in love with and there has been very few, but they would never truly discuss an idea of home so, there it is, this is why I roam.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Little Weirdo

“The Lil Weirdo”
By Sheb Schebella

Moonlight on a frozen lake, peering into a hole in the ice waiting for a fish to bight, bobbing my bait hoping it will take. The temperature is only 8 degrees, if my dog farts it will hit the ground and shatter, trust me you wont smell it till spring. A shooting star passes by, just by luck I saw it with my good eye. My dog sits patiently but knows not why, in truth sometimes nor do I. Of all the places I could be its right here on the massive chunk of ice perched upon a 5 gallon bucket I choose to be, tis here I find an ounce of serenity. I pour myself a glass of Gnarly Head wine an old vine zin from Lodi California; How it found me here in Wisconsin, easy it was given to me by a friend because he said I always have ratty ass curly hair. Well perhaps I should invest in a brush, but I don’t want to look to handsome, I enjoy not being noticed, but remembered is a different thing, well at least for the right reasons. Some say I am oddly eccentric, but never boring. We all have eccentricities it makes us whom we are and some may think I am a Lil weirdo for sitting on a frozen lake gazing up at stars, but I do get my best thoughts in such a still empty place. Empty places I do enjoy there is so much room to fill with my mental toys. What my dog does not know that it is places such as this filled with such emptiness that opens a window showing me all the beautiful faces of the people I love best. And from my lips flows a silver tongue, creating stories aloud and telling my dog of the things I have done; whether good or bad, happy or sad its like a confession booth in the middle of the North fucking Pole and my dog is the priest and trust me for a warm biscuit from the inside of my left mitten he is very forgiving. A Lil Weirdo I may be sitting on the ice twisted in a dream, fairytales dancing in my head, frozen tears upon my cheeks happiness thus I seek. Upon a small Coleman cooker I shake Jiffy-Pop by my feet, my dog smells the butter melt and the corn begins to heat, soon we will be eating like kings and gulping more Gnarly Head wine. I stand and toast the Gods that listen while tossing popcorn into the air and the Gods shine down upon me; my reality is my own as my priest turns into a Hoover ice rolling popcorn eating machine. I break into a dance well more of a snow show shuffle, I hear the ice crystals jingle in my curly hair, like chimes they play. Everything goes to slow motion as I twirl; I lose my footing and collapse onto the ice, I sit up my dog lays his head into my lap, I pet him gently, he licks my nose, he is a Lil weirdo to and there’s always room for more. I notice I am smiling, tis my heart that keeps me warm. In the end the clouds begin to roll in quickly, the wine almost polished off, the popcorn long gone, and just two Lil Weirdoes sitting out on a frozen lake waiting on a storm.

The Package

“THE PACKAGE”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
As I lay me down to sleep it is here where the questions of my life do creep. A haunting number of rights and wrongs, the walk in closet is used no more the skeletons are stacked ever so neatly from ceiling to floor and every so often I toss in one more. I don’t go out of my way to stray from a fundamental life style, but when off course I seldom do anything to get back, more like a one way train on the Amtrak about ready to run out of track. I am by no means morally bankrupt, but nor am I religiously guided, and most of my ventures are double sided. Selfish I know I appear on the surface, but down deep with a watchful distant stare I guard many and make sure there treated fare. Sometimes to stay beautiful inside I have to get a little ugly to keep the other half wise. I don’t want to know how a magician’s tricks are done, I just want to feel the smile of my inner child and when I close my eyes I know evil has not won and there in my slumber my dreams plan for the next rising Sun. To me this is Christmas, the birth off all mankind, the notion of never leaving a child behind and never intentionally stripping a smile and always, always remembering first to be kind.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Temple Of The Hounds

“Temple Of The Hounds”
By Sheb Schebella

I awake estranged to a world that I have always known, discomfort finds me, my empty thoughts are filled with unsettling emotions, a nightmare perhaps that I can’t recall has brought me to the edge of my bed. I round up my hounds from there deep sleeps, they rise quickly, shake their loose fur free and stretch. They appear fresh and are ready for the trail already pawing at the door before I have even dawned my first boot. The clock on the wall does not seem to dictate their lifestyle even though it reads 3am, nor does it mine apparently. I fill a tin cup from a bottle of uncorked dry merlot from the night before. Am I drinking to early for society or shall I chalk it up as just another late night to ease my guilt; in truth I could care less either way, my thirst needs quenching. I light a cigarette, pull on my ball cap with the head lamp on, the front door opens the hounds barrel out heading into the dark of the woods; I follow at my leisure and pick up the trail some minutes later. After a few minutes more the hounds return to me, I hold my tin cup up high to avoid spilling any as they leap up and lap my cheeks and taste the corners of my mouth. I command them to bugger off with a smile, and they charge once again into the night as if the hunt has truly started. I am again at peace, in my element, amongst what I understand and do not fear whether it be night or day and regardless of the season; I am with my gods and I pray to whomever is the one listening and give thanks to the quelling of my demons. I find a log and without bothering to brush the snow from it I sit and focus upon the empty spaces between the falling snow flakes, and it is there I place my sacred words to keep them frozen in time, and perhaps when I have spent enough of them, then they shall warm my heart and perhaps anyone else that stumbles across them that is able to translate there meaning when jumbled together to fit their own tongue; then perhaps they to shall smile. I rise and whistle for my hounds, they come crashing into my legs, I tell them home and they bolt. They now are in the hunt and I am with them. Another beautiful moment that will die my own. If only the world could see me here, then they would truly know me, but what vanity to truly think they are interested in such affairs. Difficult to share Band-Aids I suppose, perhaps that’s why the truly kind kiss booboos, and perhaps that is why I drink my wine in The Temple Of The Hounds.

The White Dog Fandango

“THE WHITE DOG FANDANGO”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
In the month of February In the wee hours of the midnight glow if you take the deer path to Patch Lake and take it slow you will come to a fork in the path, take the path north the one to your right and make sure you have a flashlight. Once you have reached the secondary path if you pause for a moment so the snow is not crunching under your feet you should be able to hear a slight drum beat, it will be fast in rhythm, but familiar. As you continue on down the path after a few elongated switch bakes you will reach a cliff called Mary’s Leap, I don’t believe that needs any further explanation. At this cliff you should be able to see a large bonfire, about the size of a Volkswagen Bug. Find yourself a comfortable seat on a snow covered rock but don’t get to close to the ledge it’s usually icy. After twenty minutes of sitting around you will hear the castanets begin to play along with numerous guitars. What you will be looking at is White Dog Beach and this is where the spirits come to dance, dance and dance. There will be 20 beautiful maidens dressed in flamboyant red dresses and 20 handsome men dressed in black seersucker suits and all wearing mukluk boots. The guitars will go to triple time and the 20 ladies with the castanets will be begin to toss and twirl the men will accompany them as they snap their fingers and twirl, stomping and shuffling their mukluk to the triple time beat. Don’t look for the guitar players, well look if you must but I doubt you will see them. The White Dog Fandango I is a dance only known to few seen only by lovers in hopes that dreams do come true. There really is not much more to say, just be in love and love your way and don’t lose your tomfoolery it is an important ingredient to help one get through the day. Learn to dance the White Dog Fandango even if you don’t have castanets or gifted guitar players. Just light a candle in your living room put on some of your favorite music and take your lover by the hand; don’t worry if you think your not doing the dance correct, you just keep doing it until it feels right. Soon your smiles will grow and the White Dog Fandango you will come to know; an intament creation made by you and your own. The White Dog Fandango in truth is nothing more than a state of mind combined with another’s making life, living and loving superiorly divine. Learn to live out loud, learn the White Dog Fandango.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

ON THE RIVER'S EDGE





ON THE RIVER'S EDGE WITH

JAPHY J. BEANKOK & STORMY D. WEATHERS

 

BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

I was taking some time to find myself to see if I could remember me, when I came upon and old Oak tree stump. I decided to take a seat and rest for a spell, even though my body was not fatigued my mind was.
I removed my back pack and from it I took out a tin of Earth Worms. As I was bating my hook I heard foot falls approaching near me down the path just to the South of me as I faced the river.

 I had not ventured this part of the South Fork Shenandoah River, and I did not know if I was on state or private land. What I did know however, the area I had stopped to rest had been well traveled. The river was running slow and at about three feet, so I had attached a claw sinker and then my hook, and bait so my line would not drift.

  It was then I heard on older gentlemen’s voice call out good day to me. He told me I had found his favorite fishing spot. I stood and tipped the bill of my ball cap and told him I hope I did not take his favorite stump as well. With a half way grin he went on to show me that he had brought an empty five gallon bucket with a cushion lid. With his hands full he nodded and introduced himself as Japhy J. Beankok, and I introduced myself as Stormy D. Weathers.

  Japhy took a seat on the bucket while letting out a light sigh of relief. I trailed out a little line and began to cast out into the water. A nice twenty yard cast I thought for an old Zebco reel. As I watched Japhy fashion his pole to his likening he asked me what I was fishing for. I told him I was only using four pound Tess and that some fair size Blue Gill would be nice. He pondered for a moment and replied that he was going for Catfish, said he liked the fight. I asked Japhy if he eats the Cats he catches, and he told me not much anymore, but he will keep the Blues though, because his wife loves them for supper on Friday nights after she gets back from Bingo down at the fire hall.


 I asked if he played Bingo and with a smile he told me that he does not fancy the game however, drives his wife into town and waits for her across the street at the V.F.W. He went on to tell me that he was a welder on the U.S.S. Arizona, and was transferred to San Diego three days before the attack on Pearl Harbor. He said he always felt like one of the luckiest men in the world; but there was a time where he had felt like one of the saddest men alive, but he knew that he did not drift alone with those emotions. He then began to tell me of his first wife that was a nurse stationed at Pearl Harbor during the bombing raid and that the dirty rotten son of a bitchen Japs took her life. He then looked over at my bobber and said that eventually he moved on, because he became to realize that life was for the living. Japhy stayed out in San Diego after the war for six more years working in a ship yard. On his sixth year in San Diego he met who is now his second wife at a little diner on 34th Street down by the ship yard; where he would have dinner almost every night. Japhy told me that his wife’s name is Kathy but he calls her Kat. Kat worked as a waitress at the all night diner. When he asked Kat if she would like to wed and move to Virginia on the Shenandoah River just outside of a little town called Elkton and into an old farm house she couldn’t pack her bags any faster.

 San Diego through the 1930’s and 40’s had warren her thin. Japhy inherited the farm, for his mother and father were both killed in a car accident in West Virginia in the fall of 1948. They were driving home from a weekend getaway when their vehicle was struck by a logging truck which was driving down the center of the road while coming around a bend. Japhy was an only child and did not have or know of any living relatives.

  Japhy had stopped talking for a moment because he had hooked a fish; quickly he set the hook and began to reel in the line. As he was reeling in he told me he loved to the river fish because of the current. He said you think at first that you have a real whopper on the other end, but he could tell now days if it was a Channel Cat or a Blue. And he did have himself a nice pan size Blue when he landed it. He stood up and tossed the fish into the bucket and sat back down and baited his hook, and cast out about 25 yards. He opened up a small satchel and took out two sandwiches, without saying anything he handed me one. I thanked him and then I reached into my pack and handed him a bottle of spring water; he smiled and took the bottle. I removed the wax paper from the sandwich and took a large bight. I was hungry and did not know it. I’m not a big fan of Pickle Loaf, but it tasted great that day for a many reasons.
Japhy timed his lunch just right. He just swallowed the last of his Pickle Loaf when his pole nearly bent in half.

 He was fishing with two hooks set about a foot and a half apart, earlier he told me it would better his odds. He could go for the top feeders and bottom feeders at the same time. Japhy was right. He asked me to grab his net for him and lean out over the river’s edge to help land the fish. He said the movement of his pole feels odd. He said he was not sure what he had on the other end. I leant over the bank and netted the largest Blue Gill I had ever seen, and as I pulled it up towards land there on the other was another Blue of equal size. We both began to laugh and say things such as “Holy Smokes!” and “I can’t believe it!” Japhy was on his feet unhooking the fish with a pair of pliers and I lifted the lid from the bucket.

 He was looking at me as he tossed the last fish into the bucket, and he had a smile as bright as a crescent moon on a cool, crisp night. He told me he has been fishing all his life and never seen that happen. He slapped me on the back followed by a wink and said “Ok stormy now it’s your turn!” We sat and joked for a good piece of time and he told me how his wife would never believe him, and that he had a witness. I didn’t say anything when he said that, I just smiled softly and turned back toward the Shenandoah.

  I asked Japhy what he did for a living when he returned back to Virginia. He told me he opened up his own welding shop, and ran the business out of his hay barn. He and Kat took a month to clear out the old barn and turn it into a real nice professional looking operation. He said Kat had a real knack for business and took care of all the books and scheduling; and that she had a real nice phone voice. He told me she didn’t sound like a redneck like him in a self-mocking tone. Japhy said he landed a contract with the county to do repair jobs on their utility vehicles and trailers, and that kept Kat and him in bread and butter until retirement found them.

 Japhy had landed two more nice size Blues. When he caught one he would lean over and say “Come on Stormy keep up.” At that time I had caught six fish to his twelve. Later that day I asked Japhy if he had any children. After I asked him if he had any children his eyes took on a very long distance stare far into the past, and was silent for several minutes, and then he began to speak. He only had one child. Kat wanted more children but, he said it just didn’t take, he thought because she had complications with her first childbirth. And in those days he told me if you couldn’t have a kid, then you couldn’t have a kid.

Japhy’s voice grew soft and flowed smoothly much like the river did on that day as he began to tell me more about his son.

His son’s name was James Japhy Beankok, born April 22. 1950. James was the name of Japhy’s father. James was a bright, happy, and kind little boy. He had lots of friends and pretty girl friends while growing up. Japhy was proud that James was a very artistic welder, and made very unique, and beautiful small sculptures; which Kat showed off proudly throughout their home. James was plenty intelligent enough for collage, but had no intentions of going to college. He was proud to work alongside his father in the family business. And his mother was glad to keep James at home. But one a few years later a nasty conflict broke out in a place most people Americans never heard of called Vietnam. James was drafted by the United States Army and took his basic training at Fort Benning Georgia. James was very patriotic Japhy told me, and was very proud to serve his country as he was to have had served in World War II.

 James arrived in Vietnam on April 12, 1969. James was in Vietnam for less than twenty-four hours and was killed instantly by random sniper fire. His body was returned home on April 20, 1969. James was buried on the highest hill on the family farm. Kat chose a five foot tall winged angel as a head stone marker; which James sculpted for her birthday three years prior. The sculptor is visible from the front porch of the farm house. James was put to rest on April 22, 1969 on his 19th birthday.

 My fishing pole began jerking wildly. Whatever was on the other end could not be very big I thought, because I was only using 4lb line. Japhy came out of his trance and said “Bring it in Stormy D. Weathers, bring it in.” Japhy grabbed his net and went to one knee. I told him to hunker down, and give the net a good scoop upward, because if I had tried to take the fish out of the water the line was sure to break. Japhy scooped, and netted the Blue Gill, and made some almighty reply. He began to say again that no one is ever going to believe us. Japhy told me he had a hand scale in his tackle box and we had to weigh that fish. The Blue Gill was the fattest of its kind I had ever seen. That Blue gill weighed 2lbs and 2oz. Japhy once again looking up at me on one knee with a smile that could blind a man if he stared at it long enough. He asked me if he could keep it and get it mounted on a nice plaque, giving me credit with my name below the fish. I told him to keep it. He said the nonbelievers will have to believe once He got Old Blue mounted. I just told him Amen, and laughed.

 Later that day, Japhy began to tell me that this was the first time he had been fishing in just a little over a year. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer and had surgery. He said that the surgery was of little concern to him but, the Chemotherapy treatments he thought for sure were going to do him in. He told me that he was five foot ten inches, and when he was in chemo treatment his weight got down to 120 pounds. Japhy told me he was lucky that his wife Kat nagged him about going in for annual checkups or he would not be fishing on this day. Japhy had his last chemo treatment five months ago, and said he feels good, but on that particular day he was feeling great.

  I began to think that day about Japhy’s life, about all that he has witnessed, all that he has survived, all that he has lost, and yet he still manages to smile. He lived by his own words when he said “Life is for the living.”

Japhy began to unwind another yarn as we fished. He told me about a time when he volunteered as a fire fighter for the county; it was his way of saying thank you for getting many years of government contracts.

Japhy was driving through front Royal, Virginia when he got a call on the radio that there was a large fire at a factory near the damn on the Shenandoah. He said he had all his firefighting gear in the back of the truck, and when he pulled up to the factory he couldn’t believe his eyes. It was a true to god three alarm blaze. He suited up, and was ordered by another fire fighter to go inside the burning factory and help evacuate everyone. He said all hell was breaking loose. People were screaming, crying, and panicking. Japhy would find people huddled together, and he would tell them to lock arms and he would lead them to safe exits. He told me that he had entered the building twenty seven times. The last two trips Japhy made back in to the building he found one person each time lying unconscious. He carried each of them out of the burning factory and each victim was resuscitated. It was amazing he said no one died that day. He was glad he said that he had found the courage to do what he had done. All I could think was could Japhy possibly think he would have lacked courage.

 The Sun was drawing low into the horizon, and the South Fork of the Shenandoah took on a beautiful golden glow. I told Japhy I needed to be heading out because my truck was a little over a mile to the North parked by a camp ground, and I did not have a torch with me. He asked me if he could give me a ride to my truck but, I declined. I told him I needed the walk after sitting for such a long wonderful time. He asked if I would be back next Sunday, I told him if that’s an invitation then I sure will be. He told me to drive next Sunday right to the farm house so that after we were done fishing I could join him and his wife for supper. He said Kat would like to meet me, and that he knew that for a fact. We gathered up are gear, shook hands, and thanked each other for a great day. Japhy headed south and I headed north.

 Just before I rounded the bend I yelled back to Japhy and he turned and faced me. I then asked him how many people did he save that day the factory burnt down. He yelled back “I don’t know how many people I saved that day Stormy! I don’t think a man ever really knows how many lives he has saved in a life time! Maybe that’s what Heaven is for, to answer questions like that!” we waved once more and began trekking to our destinations.

 I was about a quarter of a mile from my truck when I stopped and took a good long look at the South Fork of the Shenandoah; it never looked so beautiful and serene. The river that day was absolutely majestic, rushing wildly, yet at complete peace. I took off my pack and opened the flap, and took out a nine millimeter Browning Pistol. And with God almighty strength I heaved the pistol forward and watched it soar through the air, and into the abyss of the golden Shenandoah. I then reached into my breast pocket and took out one silver bullet that was meant to serve one purpose and one purpose only. I held the bullet in the palm of my hand, and said out loud. “You are right Japhy; a man will never know how many lives he has saved.” I tossed the bullet in to the river, harnessed my pack and began hiking back to my truck, all the while thinking that next Sunday I’m going fishing with a friend.

 Many Moons have passed sense the telling of this tale, and my dear friend Japhy passed away only to old age. Kat, Japhy’s beloved wife joined him eleven months later. Japhy and Kat were buried next to their son under the wings of an Angel. I have never set foot back on the Beankok Farm after attending Kat’s funeral. I have no knowledge of what became of the land or the house or whose hands it fell into. I did however kayak passed the old farm not so long ago. I tide off an old boat line to the bank and floated there on the river’s edge. I fashioned my fishing pole that day with some bait and cast downstream, on the hopes of catching nothing more than old wonderful memories, and reeling them in slowly.

A Christmas Time Of day

“ A Christmas Time of Day”
By Sheb Schebella

 A Christmas time of day has presented it’s self once again in a land where answered prayers have brought more tears than unanswered ones, so whose to say whom knows best; pick it and flip it what else is one to do. A jolly time of year for some, a gut wrenching heart ache for others. To me Christmas is for children while they hold on to a momentary state of limbo suffocated in innocence; and should an adult be fortunate enough to witness their smiles in such times then that is gift enough and a tad bit of proof and more than one should need to realize there must be a god somewhere. As I sit here at the strike of midnight the television begins to broadcast catholic services while a TV. announcer gives a play by play in a style as if it was a Macy’s day parade, and perhaps it is. It certainly is a narcissistic event to witness, with all those gaudy robed cardinals, and the overly pretentious Basilica built over St. Peters grave in which they all genuflect, we can thank Constantine for that I suppose. If Jesus is the son of god, I can’t imagine he would condone such as Vatican city as it reeks of greed, wishful power and dark demented secrets; a cloak which hides some of the most despicable humans that have ever walked God’s green earth. A Christmas time of day, the sun not yet up, the snow falling gently, my loved ones tucked safely away in their candy cane slumbers, but wishing themselves awake so they can see what Santa brought, he has brought smiles to gentle souls. Children are God and we are all his sons and daughters, and we have all made our own personal sacrifice. We have all towed the cross; in the end we all die for each others sins and for some of our own…I ask for nothing, but only give thanks for what is at this very moment, what else is there; “Now” should always be good enough…Gratitude, the only salvation I know; everything else is filler…

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Keeping In Spirit

“Keeping In Spirit”
FROM THE BOOK OF SHEB
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
When I get sad, I go away, to a private place where only song bird’s play, and butterflies rest upon my knee and tell me that everything will be ok, like those three little birds in that Marley song. Then I have a bong hit and chase it with a beer and think “This is a pleasant place, with that being said my life is still fucked up.” The bong hit however, does get the butterflies to talk more, and there’s nothing like a talking butterfly really. Except for maybe the caterpillar, you know that one, the hookah smoken mother fucker from Alice and Wonderland. Of course that caterpillar became a butterfly I assume much like the ones that have been talking to me. Puff the Magic Dragon he was higher then a Georgia Pine, and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hanalei. Puff’s life was fucked too because children grew up and stopped believing in him and so he would die or simply vanish, same thing. What keeps an entity alive? People, living energy, humans that’s who. If enough people stop believing in a spirit the spirit dissolves. It is much like the spirit in oneself, you stop believing in yourself, you lose your spirit. The spirit needs energy or the life will just be sucked out of you. In the end you’re nothing more then just a dried up ball of shit with painted on eyelashes staring down a lot of spent calendars and boxed wine. I am not an advice columnist, and I don’t do a lot of movie quotes, but there is one I am found of from “The Shawshank Redemption” it is when Andy Dufresne said “You either get busy living, or you get busy dying.”
I think of that quote often when I seem to be feeling sorry for myself or legitimately depressed for an over extended healthy period of time. Because there comes a point in life where it just takes to much self awareness to realize your beginning to enjoy life so therefore many feel they need to make a continues conscious effort to draw back from reality and catapult themselves back into a state of disbelieve and numbness do to some fucked up guilt issue that tells them they just don’t deserve to celebrate life. It is easy, but it does take a lot of work on an energy scale to stay depressed. That’s why when you’re sad you feel as week as a kitten some days because being upset, sad, depressed or whatever descriptive emotion one wants to use, bottom line is it sucks the fucking life out of you. I notice for myself it takes very little energy to be happy, but on the upside as well, being happy produces a lot of positive energy for myself and for the people around me in my circle. The great philosopher Foghorn Leghorn once said “That’s a flag waiver Boy; you have to keep your on the ball. Keep your mitt in the air you’re built to close to the ground and your missing the high ones.” Basically what Leghorn was saying was that everything you need is right there in front of you to be happy, just snatch it up when it’s offered, because it may not come back around.
Inclosing I will say this. Life it is the greatest most amazing gift anyone could be given, to be aware that you are alive is monumentally huge in biblical proportion. There is very little any of us can do to really to increase the longevity of our life; no one truly knows when their expiration date is up. There is one thing we do have control over most of the time and that is the quality of our life.
Life may be short, but it is the longest event that we will ever take part in. Raise the bar of the quality of your life, by doing this you may also increase the quality of life for another. Be apart of life, live out loud…That Leghorn what a Cock…lol

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holiday Thoughts

“Holiday Thoughts”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
There was a person that once said “The only thing I miss about home is my Hustler magazine I left in the tree fort.” I don’t remember the name of the person that coined that particular quote, but she was a woman, she was not a lesbian she just liked looking at nice boobs, so she said. I do however remember Ellyn Simons she was my biology lab partner my junior year of high school. She was a homely girl by appearance and wore the most unusual close which she made herself. One time Ellyn wore a coat hanger around here head to school with Christmas bulbs hanging from it, I never asked her why. I just assumed she wanted attention and she got it that day. While working on a lab project in class the secretary came down to collect Ellyn and shuffled her off to the school psychiatrist. I never saw Ellyn again after that day, so I can only assume she was shipped off to some fancy art & fashion school in New York, loose rumors however suggested that she was sent to a psychiatric hospital in Maryland. I never believed that story one bit about Ellyn being crazy, actually a few years back I saw her photo on a DVD cover in some porn store in Amsterdam just down the street from Anne Frank’s house, strange town that Amsterdam. I was happy to see things turned out well for Ellyn; I am assuming they did any way sense the DVD title was “Ellyn the Elf” volume 12. The Holiday season makes me think of many memories of my youth that’s for sure and most of them leave me with a frosty grin.

Monday, December 20, 2010

“YOU CAN CALL ME EDDY”

“YOU CAN CALL ME EDDY”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA

Well let me tell you, it all started over at Havel McVeez place last Friday night when Eddy Saunders walked in waving a baseball bat demanding to know which one of us Son of Bitches shagged his old lady Doreen Farrly, the two of them are married but she kept her last name, she said so she wouldn’t lose her identity, whatever the fuck that means. You see it was me and, Tony Muckerhide, Bart licavitch, Norton Wallski, Jake Tendergrass, and of course old man Havel. We were all playing Texas Holdem like we do every third Friday of the month for big stakes, $20 a head at the door buy in and $2.oo big blinds, its bring your own beer but, most of us drink coffee except for old man Havel, he drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon which is as good as any shitty American beer I guess. Havel never gets drunk, just red, I mean garden beat fucking red. Well anyway, Eddy slammed his bat down on the table making the poker chips bounce about a foot in the air along with most of the coffee but it got are attention a little dramatic but what the hell someone was going down. Old man Havel was about to blow a gasket until he saw Bart lift his index finger to his lips and motion to be silent. Norton Wallski is 87 years old and was the first to speak in his defense. He told Eddy that he has not been able to pull wood sense Nixon was in office and then told him to hand him the coffee pot from off the stove which oddly Eddy did. Then Eddy turned to me as he pointed his bat across the table and asked me if I shagged his wife and I responded by saying hell no Eddy, no offence but, she is one ugly bitch. He then just looked at me quizzically and said none taken, then tried to ascertain where I was last Saturday night. I quickly responded by telling him I was working 2nd shift over at the plant. Then I told Eddy he better mellow out before I break that bat off in his ass; at that time Norton asked me if I wanted some coffee and of course I did, mine was spilled when numb nuts slammed his bat down on the table. While Norton was refilling my cup old man Havel stood up and walked toward the fridge to collect himself another beer and that’s when Eddy asked Havel were he was last Saturday night. Havel opened his beer on the edge of the table just before sitting down and took a big pull and responded with a belch as he sat. Havel pointed his beer toward Eddy and told him that he was home like he always is and if Eddy didn’t believe him he could ask Myers, which was old man Havel’s dog. That got a pretty good laugh from every one but Eddy.
Tony Muckerhide decided to take the stand himself and volunteer information on his own by telling Eddy he saw her at the Saw Grass Saloon at about 9 o’clock last Saturday but, she was sitting alone at the bar drinking Scotch and that she looked a little pissed up. The he explained to Eddy that he left at about ten and Doreen was still at the bar alone drinking. Then Jake Tendergrass sat back in his chair and asked Eddy why he just does not ask his old lady who she shagged last Saturday. He responded that he had already but, she said she was too drunk to remember and felt real guilty about doing it. So you see Eddy was on a man hunt because he felt someone took advantage of his wife while she was drunk. At this time Eddy Saunders seemed to be calming down a little as Norton handed him a cup of coffee. After about twenty seconds of silence the back door to the kitchen swung open and slammed shut, it was Jimmy Ripley one of our Friday night poker players. He was laughing and swearing as he walked in and apologized for being late but he got a flat tire on the way over. Eddy did not know Ripley nor did Ripley know of Eddy, but for some reason old man Havel asked Ripley were and what he was doing last Saturday. Ripley looked around then paused and looked at the table. The table was a mess of spilt coffee, soggy playing cards, and ill stacked poker chips. Eddy had set the bat down on the kitchen counter by this time. Ripley kind of smiled and asked what the hell is going on and asked if some one got caught cheating. Old man Havel said yes but not at cards, and then asked again to Ripley were and what did he do last Saturday. Ripley took a step back rubbed his chin a little and smiled while telling us that he was at the Saw Grass Saloon when he ran into this old horny whore of a broad that wanted to shag him and, so he took her out to the truck for a quickie. Ripley then looked up and grinned and said that he had told her his name but, as he was putting the bone to her in the back of the truck she just kept calling him Eddy. Right at that moment Ripley raised his hand to Eddy Saunders to greet him and said Hello I don’t believe we have met, my names Jimmy Ripley." then he paused, smiled and with a soft laughter said. But if you want you can call me Eddy to. At that moment everything was a blur, I just remember waking up on the couch with an ice pack on my head with Myers lying across my lap.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

“A CASE OF RUM & TEN LOAFS OF BREAD”

“A CASE OF RUM & TEN LOAFS OF BREAD”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
I was almost shanghaied so, I broke for the cost, rolling with laughter as I avoided disaster. With a case of rum and ten loafs of bread, I sighed with what only I had to eat and the bump on my head but, better than dead. I drew up my anchor and hosted my sails, with no particular place to be except only grateful to be on the sea. I spent weeks crossing the wide Atlantic and never once was I in a panic. From Valencia to the Azores were I spent a wonderful evenings playing chess with old retied Portuguese whores. It was much later into the months were I ended up in the Bay of Bengal, what a dump; it was there I met a fine Indian girl and all she spoke of was obtaining a wonderful necklace of pearls, so I told her of my coercions and then she addressed them as perversions and, had me tossed from that cafĂ©. It was only for a moment in the dirt I laid, and then I was up and running back to the bay to live yet another day. Do south I pointed my compass never wanting to return again, then North West up around the bend to continue my journey again. Later on I was flanked by the Americans and I slipped trough the crack like Panama Jack, which brought me to the Pacific Rim with a cheeky smile only to be masked with a Pirates grin. Do I go north, or do I go south; “No” say I, it is the Orient that waters my mouth. With a case of rum and ten loafs of bread but, better off than being dead.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

IF IT CAN’T FIT ON A SNOW FLAKE I DON’T NEED IT

IF IT CAN’T FIT ON A SNOW FLAKE
I DON’T NEED IT
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
I laid in bed well, on the couch last night actually looking out the bay window watching the snow fall. I didn’t want to be anywhere else psychologically, my serenity was topped off. I however could not stop thinking that know matter how much snow falls or how many snow flakes I see it will never equal the amount of information in a double helix. I can not grasp the full meaning of life anymore than I can grasp the concept of God. I do know that at any given moment that I can alter my course; completely change the existence of my tomorrow. It is amazing the choices I have to write the up coming chapters of my life. Granted I shall never know the out comes of any redirection but, I do control the cast of characters for the most part, and I can set the stage and theme the script. It truly is amazing the amount of power a person has over there life, simply by channeling there energy towards there conquest. Sometimes I wonder if I can believe in evolution and God, I believe I can but, I can not actually explain it. I simply just accept that it could be, evolution is impossible for me to dismiss but then again so is the presence of God; in the end it will not matter what I believe, I will know or I will not know. The one thing I can do until I am confronted with such things is just continue to improve the quality of my life and to help others improve theirs. I do feel however that there are subjects that should be over analyzed and researched. I wonder at times what type of believe system I would have if no one ever spoke to me of God or spoke to me about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I wonder if I did not know of these things I have mentioned what my Free Will would be like or if I even recognized I had free will. Would life have a deep meaning if I knew nothing of God or Evolution? Religion does not give me comfort, for me it only reminds me of suffering, a fantasy story that turned horribly nightmarish, but evolution never let me down. I do at times feel what I define the presence of a higher power, something greater than myself, which I choose to call good. To me religion should be more of an appetizer more so than an entrĂ©e. To me religion is dark in its brightest light.
The snowflakes keep falling and not one of them the same in structure but yet once they land they all bond together nicely and make up something very beautiful, something they could not do on there own.

The Pretentious Beggar

The Pretentious Beggar


By Sheb Schebella


The pretentious beggar whom lives deep inside, a classical man from another time; well educated but, poorly suited for social life, and often uppity about the price of strife. He is not transparent but thin skinned when it comes religious hymns. The pretentious beggar kneels for no god that he can define, but yet he attends mass perhaps he is only there for wine, perhaps he feels he is the stain upon the glass as he adores the sunshine. What he ponders is not for all to know, but seldom does anyone ask for he represents an avoidance from ones past. The pretentious beggar wears a smile on his eyes, but one would have to look deep inside to know the reasons why. He seldom smiles for the world but gracious with a smirk. The pretentious beggar breaks his bread while he bows his head but the world will never know why and when one thinks they know they are greatly mislead; for it is only in his sleep he speaks of all the things in his head, laying there half alive and half dead as he tosses and turns in his bed. He reveals only to the walls of the names of the ghost that walk the halls. It is in the morning the pretentious beggar wakes, long before the sun will take; and he lays there transfixed peering into an oil painting trimmed in a bamboo frame of a seashore he shall never know and refuses to give it a name, cutesy he is not nor delusional enough just yet to believe it truly exist. The pretentious beggar defines philosophy as such “I suppose its more entertaining at times than the comic section over lunch.” Only twice I have heard the Pretentious Beggar speak, the second time was on a park bench made of ruff timber far from any streets and this he said but not to me, it was to a passing thought I believe “Never trade your compass in for a Gideon’s or GPS neither points to truth.”

Friday, December 17, 2010

Tis


“TIS”
BY SHEBSCHEBELLA
Like a carnival it parades before her lost in the glitter and excitement. She tries to focus, but becomes entangled within the ever shifting labyrinth of kaleidoscope color schemes and unfamiliar music. The rhythm changes, the beat quickens, a some what controlled anxiety blankets over her. She closes her eyes and it is as if a thousand images are flashed before her in almost unrecognizable speed, but yet when laid out and slowly pieced together with the preciseness and understanding of the directors cut there becomes a true yet forever secret understanding which lays hidden on the editing floor. Silence is the music the thundering heart is the truth. All energy has been spent, complete exhaustion sets in, and a Cheshire grin is painted within the subconscious of the mind. A gild edged invitation has been sent to the deepest crevasse of her soul addressed Void. A name is spilled yet only a murmur is heard. The energy slowly and softly returns as the endorphins begin there magic. The endogenous opioid polypeptides work their magic sending heavenly amounts of analgesic contentment into the unsettling heart. Tis only for a moment she lives in thier Eden, tis till death she waits to find it again.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Kallikantzaroi & The Remark

“KALLIKANTZAROI & THE REMARK”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
The Goblins came late last night; they don’t really fly that is just a lie. The Goblins walk and some of them slither, hop and crawl, but they all can climb walls. They don’t speak in complex sentences; they snicker, gurgle, fart through their teeth, hiss and piss out of their eyes. Goblins are evil, temperamental and cruel, but there nobodies fool. Last night I heard a noise so I knelt up in bed combed the hair from my eyes and looked out the window and saw Goblin feet tracked in the snow outside, but I was not surprised because it’s getting close to Christmas time. Goblins hate Christmas and they hate cookies too they only lick the icing off and then toss them all around. The little bastards will crap on your carpet and then grind it in with their paws and their claws. I don’t hate Goblins, it would be like hating ice because it is cold, but I have no intentions of being submerged in it and last night I had no intentions of being over run by Goblins. I noticed the Goblin tracks lead to my basement window, the bastards where in the house. I climbed from bed and knelt down and bowed my head as I reached under my bed to retrieve my AK 47 I had brought back from Afghanistan. I stood with my rifle and slammed a fresh clip of soviet produced 7.62 mm rounds and headed for the basement. There are three things Goblins truly despise Christmas songs, artificial light and gifts, and I was going to present them with the trifecta. I walked to the basement door and stood, on the count of three I swung the door open and charged down the stairs singing “Run, Run Rudolph” Billy Idol style at the top of my lungs. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I turned on the lights as I saw the last of 7 Goblins come dropping through the window. They all faced me snarling and pawing at the air. The Goblins squinted while some began to plug their ears as I was finishing the last verse of my Christmas song. Finally their eyes somewhat adjusted to the light and then they all gave me wicked smiles to try and give me a fright, but I was locked and loaded on this night. They took notice of my AK 47 but I was not sure if they understood it would mean there demise. I raised my weapon to my shoulder and took loose aim at the pack and then I spoke by saying “Good evening you wretched bastards, I am here to give you the greatest Christmas gift of all, the gift of eternal life.” The Goblins froze as I said they hate Christmas gifts and so they began to scream without really understanding what I meant. I looked at each of them quickly and gently nodded my head. A smile grew on my face as I knew I was going to send them all to Hell for eternity and soon I would be tucked comfy back in bed. A few of the Goblins snarled and moaned and raised their hands in question about what I meant. I simply remarked “Saint Kalashnikov & Christopher too don’t fail me now.”
I woke this morning to the smell of bacon and freshly brewed coffee, and after I climbed from bed I walked to the window and took a look outside and noticed it had snowed again after I fell back asleep covering up all the goblin tracks that danced in my head, now if I can just get rid of the son of a bitch that lives under my bed.

TIP TOEING ON THE EDGE

TIP TOEING ON THE EDGE
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
Barefoot but not naked, standing on the edge; stretched out arms into what some only see as emptiness, or perhaps the undefined obis. What others may see makes no difference to me. They look into the eyes and see madness, a man tip toeing to close to the edge. Are these people afraid of living or afraid of how I live? Perhaps the answer is both; perhaps these people are jealous because they do not know how to squeeze water from a rock. Whatever these people think makes no difference to me. My life is my own, some may say I am reckless, some may call me a fool, some may love to love me but, will only be able to do so from afar, some will sip me by the thimble full and it will hold in their memory for a life time, while others will bath within me by the gallon until they get their fill; then they will slowly walk backwards tip toeing back from the edge and then and only then from a safe distance shall they watch me from afar, watch me with my arms stretched out, reaching for what they wish they could see. Blind love will be what I shall always wrap my arms around and I shall do so as it suits me.
Barefoot but not naked, standing on the edge; stretched out arms into what some only see as emptiness, or perhaps the undefined obis, wishing somewhere inside they could see what I see or perhaps even wanting for a moment to sit behind my eyes, but there will be others who wish to witness only madness, it makes no difference to me what they see.
Barefoot but not naked, standing on the edge with stretched out arms guided only by blind love.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

“ANIMAL CRACKER RIGHTS”

BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
I bought a box of Animal Crackers, just so I could set them free. Once I gave some money to PETA, but those people just scare the hell out of me; there all vegan this and vegan that, but the ones I met where so damn fat.
I have all the Animal Crackers set up on the coffee table now and have been handing out names as I see fit such as, Emma the Elephant, Mo the Monkey, Zelda the Zebra, Jean Reno the Rhino, Gerry the Giraffe and Barnum the Bear. Barnum is the Ring Leader; Head Honcho, Top Notch, and The Bastard.
I dipped a few of the Animal Crackers in my coffee and ate them, freedom comes with a price, I wont eat Barnum the Bear I want to test his shelf life, I’m guessing a 100 years.
I do feel poorly bighting the heads off of the animals it seems to gory, so I pop them in my mouth all at once and give them a good solid crunch. If there’s no mess then there’s no guilt, only thing to clean up sometimes is a little spilt milk.
If the world was filled with more pacifists then perhaps vanilla wafers would see them through, but the world is often cruel, so if your not born cute you may just be dinner for two, it does not make it right but it is on the menu tonight.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

“PORTMANTEAU”

“A SHEBTASTIC DAY”
“PORTMANTEAU”
“FIND YOURS”
BY SHEB SCHEBELLA
I was driving home from Rhinelander tonight as I was helping a friend collect a fridge and a new stove he had purchased when all of a sudden a beautiful Bald eagle glided slowly in front of the truck. It was as if it all went to slow motion as the eagle turned his head and stared me directly into the eyes, he then slowly did a semi graceful roll flapped his wings and was gone. The image was beautiful and will last in my memories for many moons to come. There are so many more wonderful things that transpire in life by mere happenstance than dark events which seem to be noticed more many times and have deeper impacts in many lives. I have through the years learned to condition my self to appreciate fleeting moments in my life that bring unadulterated joy deep within me and to hold onto these moments much longer than the actual event. It has been the only successful way I have found to blanket my self in a golden light when those dark grey evil clouds seem to find themselves lingering over me casting an overwhelming depression at times. The world can be an awfully cruel place to those that are governed by destiny and in truth would have to strip someone of there free will should they adhere to the rules that go along with believing in destiny. My findings however have no bases more reliable than my own meandering experiences. Many believe that they are put on this planet for a purpose, I don’t believe that either. I believe we have to find many reasons and many purposes we can serve for belonging. It is then that we find the quality of our lives improving regardless of the obstacles that tend to disrupt our path to self-realization. Many people are delusional about what purpose they should serve as if it should be monumental in biblical proportion. For the most of us we will really never know how many lives we have affected by positive or negative influence, but we can become more aware and learn to harness and translate the energy around us and within our selves. I have found though that if you teach yourself to some degree to have an eye for uncommon beauty and learn to listen with your heart then you will see miracles everyday transform before your eyes, because simply stated Life is a miracle. Life is made up of energy which each of us share with others and the universe and when we begin to realize this and learn how to focus our needs and true desires while being receptive to the needs and desires of other humans and brilliant creatures with whose circles we share, we will discover a true balance followed by many harmonies events. Learn to tap into the wonderful abundance of resources within yourself and SHINE…..